What do a good coach and Elisabeth have in common?
You don’t know Elisabeth. She is a young woman like many others. What distinguishes her is that the people around her tell her their worries, doubts and needs and leave with better feelings than when they came.
Elisabeth and a good coach both meet people with kindness and love.
We know from psychotherapy research which personality traits probably characterise Elisabeth. Elisabeth acquired these characteristics at some point in her life through favourable circumstances and learned them without intention (implicit learning).
The most important of these are:
Appreciation and encouragement
Many aspiring coaches already bring these skills with them. They have learned them implicitly in the course of their development. They are part of their motivation to choose coaching as a profession.
Others, whose learning history has been different, are unsure whether they will be able to do this, but do not have to give up their idea of becoming a coach.
The idea that personality development ends at the end of puberty is wrong. The same applies to the phrase „what a little boy doesn’t learn, a little boy never learns“. We have a plastic brain and can therefore learn until we die. This also applies to complex behaviour such as empathy skills.
The excuse, „My youth was such that I could not learn that!“ does not apply!
For coaching training, this means that the development and deepening of the above skills must be central. The learning path to working on one’s own person is self-awareness.
Learning places where I gain a lot of self-awareness are self-awareness groups, self-therapy (I use therapy) and self-coaching, self-reflection (journaling), as well as therapy- and coaching-trainings (as I envision them).
A very recommendable, easy-to-read booklet on the perception of others and how to improve it as well as empathy capacity is:
„If I understood you, would I have this look on my face?“ by Alan Alda.