When am I successful
and who decides that?
The European Championship has just come to an end in Munich. The fastest and those with the most incredible heights and distances were celebrated. Why not those with almost the same values as well? Apparently, it is not that important to be fast high and far. They all were. Obviously, it’s all about outdoing everyone else.
Triggert be this example, it became vital for me to define more precisely what I actually want to achieve and when I call what I have gained success. In any case, being better than someone else is not. As far as my work as a coach is concerned, I am happy about every highly qualified coach I meet. And when I meet someone from whom I can clearly learn something, I am thrilled.
I am happy when I get closer to a goal I have set for myself. For me, that is a success. But success is also when I like the result of my work, when it fits in well with my values and, of course, when others enjoy it.
We live in a world in which we will probably only survive if we succeed in cooperating as a community. So celebrating Germany’s medal count sends the wrong signal. I would be much more interested in which group behaved the fairest and supported the other athletes the most.
As a coach, I regularly have to decide how to react to my coachees‘ definitions of success because my work is based on the coachee’s value system. But, on the other hand, I must not conceal the dangers I see for them. So, for example, the work on his idea of success is fundamentally important when it comes to burnout.
For myself and my work, it is important to me to openly discuss and name the criteria of success when necessary. It is also crucial for me to ask who can decide on the criteria and who determines which standards apply. For example, are others allowed to decide whether my body weight is „ideal“, or is that much more my own business?
For people looking for a coach, I recommend informing themselves about his theory of humankind being he is working with. I.e. also, to which values he or she is committed.