It is possible, at Christmas too!
To have a good time with the family.
The others are not responsible for your well-being, and staying away is no solution either!
I am convinced that it is possible for families to spend 2-3 days being polite and loving to each other, even at Christmas.
Here are four effective patterns that guarantee the failure of the joyous celebration and four equally effective better ways.
„The feast has to be a mega-super-super-class event; anything less than that is shit!“
The pattern is very effective when you want to be miserable and is widespread.
If I go into it with rather modest expectations, my satisfaction with the party will likely be high.
Relationship trap or double-bind
„Have fun trying to decide which fire to burn your fingers on!“
This is one of the most effective and widespread ways to get relationships into trouble or destroy them.
„This Christmas must be merry and harmonious!“ Here two conflicting claims are linked, namely a compulsion (must) and the vision of a mood incompatible with compulsion (merry, harmonious).
He who follows compulsion will hardly become cheerful. He who is cheerful shits on compulsion.
Those who want a happy, relaxed Christmas will achieve this by leaving enough free space for cheerfulness and harmony.
Expected Result or Self-fulfilling Prophecy
„Try hard to please me; I know you can’t anyway!“
A self-fulfilling prophecy is one of the best-documented phenomena in social psychology. „The family reunion will be as awful as last year!“ This saying guarantees that it will be.
„I’m looking forward to Christmas; it’s sure to be great!“
This is the equally effective alternative.
Self-harm or auto-aggression
„It serves you right that I am bored and unhappy; why don’t you ensure I am well entertained and happy!“
This is also a very popular and very effective pattern. „But nothing will be going on there!“
„I’ll think of what I can do to make this Christmas a real success!“ That’s an idea?
I wish everyone a happy and harmonious festive season!
Anyone looking for support in damage prevention or damage limitation (after the festivities) is welcome!
Please drop me a note or call: +6703 960 830