Where did it go?
My problem is gone!
In recent weeks you have walked through the front door of your workplace with a heavy heart. In front of you were the unfriendliness of your colleagues, the disdain of your boss and what felt like an unbearably long time until closing time.
Imagine walking towards that door again and suddenly feeling joyful anticipation, being greeted inside in a friendly manner and asked about your well-being. Your boss compliments you for the last job you delivered — a pipe dream.
What do you think such an experience would trigger in you? Disbelief, confusion, grateful joy, pride in what you have achieved, fear that it might be a dream, a feeling of insecurity because you don’t know how to deal with it.
Two interesting questions follow here:
– What do you think you would be missing?
– What could you do to make this change possible?
The first of these questions (What do you think you would miss?) is always met with incomprehension because it is about the experience of a victim. The question about the secondary benefit of a problem is usually perceived as nonsensical or even offensive. Nevertheless, it makes sense because only when I see my contribution to a problem situation can I experience myself as a person who acts independently. As a co-creator of my situation.
The second question, about my possibilities for action, follows directly from this. It directs the question away from my role as a victim towards a possible role as a person acting independently.
The fantasy described above is popular among coaches and therapists because it involves a #changeofperspective. However, it is not a miracle cure, not a silver bullet to freedom from problems.
I believe that coaching is helpful and successful when we as coaches accompany our clients with interest and appreciation, as well as in mutual freedom, in their search for their solutions and enable them to #changeperspective.
As one of the few active coaches with over 50 years of experience, I offer all my competencies as a change of perspective fan.