The blessing and curse of routines.
He will be standing in the doorway with a red rose in a moment, as always!
In couple relationships, routines are necessary for survival AND a disaster!
If my dear wife and I had not managed to routinely divide our vital family, housework and gardening tasks between us, we would have had no time for our togetherness and our children.
If we had „done“ the equally necessary relationship work just as routinely, we would have ended up in disaster.
Of course, it was helpful for both of us, for example, that I prepared our breakfast every morning. But if I had done it EVERY morning in the SAME way, I would have been entirely predictable, and it would have become dull.
Life partners, children, and friends are pleasantly surprised when we sometimes deviate from our „reliability“ and predictability towards them.
In my work as a psychologist and systemic coach, I find my routines just as crucial as the naturally necessary open and creative approach to my clients‘ questions.
My coaching routines help me focus on those corners of our life together that we, and our clients, don’t like to look into.
Or to pay attention to those areas of life that we in our western society are very reluctant to discuss with outsiders, such as our love life or our beliefs.
Coaching routines are therefore an insurance against overlooking essential connections.