They were fed up with fighting.
The connection between family peace and economic success.
A winegrowing couple was among my first clients when I took over the management of a counselling centre in the early 1980s. They came because they quarrelled unbearably.
They lived together with his parents, on the grounds of the farm. Both families lived on the proceeds of the farm.
The husband was the future heir. He had already taken over the farm’s management. His parents continued to work. With the marriage, the wife had given up her profession as an industrial clerk to work on the farm as well.
There was great tension between the young woman and her mother-in-law. The husband was the pawn between his wife and his mother.
In addition, the performance of the four farm residents was increasingly impaired by the permanent conflict. A divorce would have endangered the existence of the farm.
The story ended well. My clients succeeded in restoring peace on the farm.
Through family counselling with all four adults, it was possible to uncover the highly complex web of relationships between them. The entanglements between private and working life were disentangled. In addition, the four were able to agree on rules of interaction for both areas of their life together.
This case made a lasting impression on me because it showed me how areas of life that are usually perceived as separate in our culture can nevertheless cross-fertilize or hinder each other.
Particularly in the case of people in key positions, disturbances and conflicts in one area have a particularly dramatic and consequential effect on the other. I am thinking here, especially of people in leadership positions and their partners.
I have seen many more of these cases in the following years. Some ended well as just described, some ended in with catastrophic consequences for the company and others in an unpleasant divorce.
The focus of my work is in the run-up to difficulties or even disasters. I work to help people shape relationship patterns and behaviours in ways that strengthen and nourish their relationships and life.
I am convinced that executives and their partners can be happier in their private lives and more successful in their work if they manage to treat and maintain their relationships with care.
The couple relationship then becomes a source of strength in both areas of life, in private and in running a business.
A fulfilled couple relationship of executives pushes the ROI of their company!
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